The wind is heavy now, the emotional debree is flying. Caught and unable to move into safety, tossed into the whirling pits of hell before me. Painful words, stabbing into my flesh like splintering wood. The wounds are deep and scaring. You will not make it, you will be sorry and regret what you have done, you say. Twirling high above the grounds of life, I look down and see everything that is normal, being ripped apart by this massive distruction. My mind is dizzy, and I am becoming incoherent. You did not try to save me, you watched as it all fell apart. I am something I do not recognize. But my eyes are opening now, and the wind is slowly subsiding, I am strong, and I will survive. You stay in the wreckage, and try to pick up the pieces and put them together again. But this time I am walking away, in search of a safer place, where I can shelter myself from the storm. Tomorrow, the sun will shine, and I will smile again. Yes, I will survive.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
In the Tornado, Will I survive?
Monday, May 25, 2009
Endless dreams
My Heart screamed out to you, though I said nothing. I waited, and I am still waiting, as the moments of every day pass me by. Moments turn into days, days into years. So young, yet so old. The years, have passed me like they were only moments, silent and blank. No smiles, no memories. Just scars that are left to remind me that there was something, but I cant remember. Was it worth it? To give up something so promising, for something that ended up broken anyway. I wanted to believe with all that I was, that it would turn into something beautiful, and lasting. But like everything beautiful and young, it will eventually wilt and turn old and fall into nothing.
Like an endless dream, you see a young and healthy tree full of fruit. You approach it. You are so hungry, and so tempted by what is before you. You are certain that if you can only reach far enough, you will become full and satisfied. It is too far out of grasp, so you begin to climb. But, only as your dreams are unfolding in front of you, and you are so sure that it is, what it is. The tree becomes old and full of death. No roots to hold it in place. You begin to fall, and you never stop.
Like dreams, how certain can I be, that what is going on around me, and within me, is anything more than an illusion, waiting to transform into something I dont recognize.
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Last nights dream
I had this dream that I was walking by and this girl had some sort of pet (duck maybe) in a dog carrier, the door was open and a snake was crawling inside. She picked it up and before we could kill it, she let go of the head and it bites me in the ankle. Shortly after that, my legs are red and swollen, and I cant breath, so I know the snake was poisonous. I spend all this time trying to get someone to take me to the hospital but all this weird stuff keeps happening. It was in a very dirty, poor, ghetto town, and somehow ended up in this rundown school on my life threatening journey. I still couldnt breath, and then realized I had a gameboy lodged in my throat ( lol wtf) so I walk around with it for a while, and all the while its making game sounds inside my body. At some point I pull it out. But im still poisoned and I dont know, this continues on all night.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Life
The funny thing about life is that it often shows us tiny glimpses of what our life could be like, and as fast as they come, they are gone.
You came in, and for a moment I smiled. A million thoughts fill my head, like memories that could be,rejoicing inside me. But you dont even look at me, you turn and go away, and I am frozen. In a single moment, I am lost in myself again, alone, and still a dreamer.
All you have is yourself, and the only thing you will ever have control over.
If I was special, would you have noticed me? If there was something you wanted to hear, and I spoke those words, would you have turned and looked at me?
I am a dreamer, full of hope, but nothing special. A dime a dozen, I will always be over looked. Just another leaf blowing in the wind, and when the winter chill fills my lungs, my color will fade, and I will disappear, like all those before me.
If my soul returns in the spring, and I become part of a beautiful flower, maybe someone will pick me, and I will have some purpose in life. Something wonderful that will never be forgotten.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Something Real
Some how human beings always seem to find a tiny glimmer of hope, that in the vast chaotic world in which we live, they will find something completely real. Something that without a doubt, will never shatter what they are inside. Something that will help them thrive and become a better them, a reason to continue in this uncertain life. You spend your whole life, hoping and waiting for that one other person, that lifts you up and gives you a reason to wake up in the morning. But how do you know when you have found them? Is it possible to be truely complete? You have made so many mistakes, and you find yourself floating in a sea of doubt and even a bit of regret. But what if, what you are wondering in the back of your mind, actually turns out to be the most real thing you will ever know.
