Left in the Dark

I think you said it best when you said I Love to be Loved. But more importantly, I love to be loved by you. I crave your attention, I desire to be the center of your world. Without it, I am blank. I am lost in my own mind, searching for a reason why I can not live without you. All logic points, to the exit, to walk away and say goodbye. But my heart is bleeding tears into the void, that I call myself. I am slowly being sucked into the darkness. Flipped inside out into my own personal hell. Is this real? Or am I dead and don't realize it? Will I forever be cycled into this false reality? Being given your love, just for you to take it away from me over and over again... A dream where I find myself face to face with you, perfect happiness and feelings of safety. But you turn and start to walk away, my feet are stuck in place, and no sound can escape my mouth. I scream inside but you never turn and look back at me. But it is not a dream. I am here screaming out to you, begging you to stop, and stay with me, but you will not stay. Now I am left here alone, with no shadow, no light to guide my way, just darkness.

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Final Goodbyes

For the first time in all these years, I have realized without a doubt, that what you feel for me is finally over. I hear no regret, no doubt in your words, that what you want is not me. That what you think will make you happy in life, you can not find in me, what I am, is not good enough to make you smile anymore. I want to know that you are happy, I am just saddened that I have given half of my life to you just to find, that it was never enough.
My tears can not fall fast enough to catch up with the bleeding of my heart. I have to block you out of my mind, and hopefully my heart, for the thought of you laying with someone else, destroys my soul. I am left here alone, trying to pick up the pieces of me, what little is left of me.
As I finally take down your pictures, and the pictures from our wedding, I cry hard, and can barely see. A broken heart, a broken soul, a broken home. How will I fix this all?
You are gone, and you aren't even here to tell me in person, I cant hear your voice, or see your face. Who are you? I don't even know anymore. You are disappearing and I can't even stop you. This is what you want, and when I turn to go, I will never turn back to see if you are even looking. If you find yourself lost and alone, I will not be there to comfort you, and tell you its ok. I will not be there ever. I hope you know what your doing. Because im disappearing too.

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